Big Sean and the Business of Clean Pussy

Last week I had the pleasure of attending a performance by rapper and hip-hop mogul Big Sean. I say “pleasure” because I was drunk, and because any concert is pleasurable when it is free and you’re within walking distance of your bed.

Also because he is misleadingly little.

If you are unfamiliar with Big Sean, aka Sean Michael Anderson, he is the 25-year-old rap protégé of Kanye West, who conquered the billboards with his song “Dance (A$$),” whose chorus is  a provocative:

Ass, ass, ass, ass, ass
ass, ass, ass, ass,
ass, ass, ass, ass,
ass, ass, ass, ass,
ass, ass, ass,
ass, ass!

It’s the lyrical subtlety that always gets me.

The persona of Big Sean is an interesting one. Known for his energetic stage presence, his opaque catchphrases (Woah dere! I do it!) and his passion for fashion (“Sometimes I feel like putting on a blazer with just a T-shirt. Sometimes I feel like putting on, straight up, a Christian Dior suit. Sometimes I just like rocking tank tops and shit like that”), Big Sean has gained a large and enthusiastic fanbase.

“Sometimes I drive around barefoot so my toes can be like AYYOOOOO”

Performing on the USC campus for some several thousand students, Big Sean lived up to his reputation. After a power crisis delayed the show by an hour, Big Sean came charging out sunglasses a-glaring, encouraging the audience to always keep fighting the Man, asking, “WHAT YOU GONNA SAY WHEN A BROTHER COME AT YOU AND HE ALL LIKE IN YOUR FACE AND YOU ALL LIKE GET OUT MY FACE?!”  (The answer is “Suck A Dick”). The audience went wild.

Portrait of the average Big Sean audience member

But that’s not what struck me the most. The moment of the night that I’m never going to forget, the moment that quite possibly changed my life forever, is when Big Sean baggy-pants-hobbled to the front of the stage, threw a fist up in the air, and yelled,

“ALL MY BITCHES WITH CLEAN PUSSIES MAKE SOME NOIIISSSEEEE!!!” 

An interesting phenomenon occurs when a speaker with an audience of 2000 asks all his bitches with clean pussies to make some noise. Namely: bitches make noise. Not just the lady-bitches, I’m talking about the man-bitches too. Because the roar from the audience was a predominantly male one. I suppose no one loves a bitch with a clean pussy like a 19-year-old white boy in a snapback. The men cheered, they screamed, “YES! WE WANT TO KNOW WHICH OF YOUR PUSSIES IS CLEAN! THANK YOU BIG SEAN FOR ASKING WHAT WE WERE AFRAID TO!”

If that was all, I might have been unfazed. After all, boys will be ignorant misogynists. But a second group joined their voices in the mob: the ladies.

“WOOOOOOOOO!” they yelled. “OUR PUSSIES ARE CLEAN!!!!!!!”

Now I don’t know about you, but I have a problem with this. One, because, no matter how dirty my pussy is (and don’t you just hate that word, pussy? It’s almost worse than vagina), it is none of Big Sean’s goddamn business, and how dare he shame me for my dirty pussy in a public forum? Two, maybe we need to define “dirty pussy.” Because you weren’t talking about sexually transmitted diseases, were you, Big Sean? After all, you did say right after, “I want a bitch with a clean pussy, only sleep with me. You gotta get yourself a clean pussy for yourself.”

A dirty pussy, in other words, is a pussy that has a lot of sex.

I know we’ve had this conversation, friends and readers, so I’ll try not to bore you with conclusions I hope you’re already making. Let’s just sum it up real quick: Big Sean perpetuates the widely-held notion that a woman who sleeps with a lot of men is “dirty,” and should be shamed and avoided. The people who support and reinforce this idea are young men, yes, but it is also  young women themselves. We are quick to shout that “OUR PUSSIES ARE CLEAN!” because otherwise we would be shamed, and shunned. We buy right into it.

Let me know the next time you hear someone yell at a concert:
“CAN ALL MY GENTLEMEN WITH CLEAN DICKS MAKE SOME NOIIIIISE!!! I WANNA SEE SOME SNOW-PURE VIRGINAL PEE-PEE!!!!!!!”

Even Big Sean’s earlier question–what do you tell people who are trying to bring you down? “Suck a dick!” –plays right into this notion of female sexuality as bad. Anyone who sucks a dick is contemptible, he reminds us.

I WILL NOT!

“All my bitches with clean pussies make some noise!” I can’t get over this! Why are we making noise, anyway? To advertise our cleanly nethers? So we can be easily spotted, and therefore, easily…un-cleaned? And if I don’t make some noise, am I just screwed? Is there no winning for a girl who just wants to keep her pussy to herself?

Thank you, Big Sean, I will!

Alright, let’s be real: Is this an issue singular to Big Sean? Of course not. Is this an issue at all? Of course it is. Because there is no “just for funsies,” there are no “jokes,” there isn’t any “that’s just how rap is, that’s just the music, that’s just how it goes.” Big Sean is a part of our culture–our YOUTH culture–and he is playing into a cycle that puts down not only women, but also men, over and over again. Because, men, if you start valuing yourself on the quality of the “pussy” you get, you are doing as much a disservice to yourself as you are to the ladies who are kind enough to sleep with you. You can’t have gender equality on the page and not in the practice, and we’re hardly even close on the page yet.  And we are all–men, women, young people of 2013–we are all too intelligent and progressive and interesting and thoughtful to box ourselves further into these sexist practices–not attitudes, necessarily, but practices–that reinforce a gender division that we don’t even want anymore. Because we don’t want it, do we? I don’t think we do. I think we’re ready for something better. We just need to start recognizing it.

Got comments, questions, rage, rebuttals? I’d love to talk.

I DO ITTTTTTTT